


Universe and you

by nilielh



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alien Abduction, Alien Sex, Alternate Universe - Space, Anal Probing, Crack, He just wants to replenish his race, I don't really know how to tag this anymore, M/M, Ohno is THE alien, we all know this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 14:13:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19395817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nilielh/pseuds/nilielh
Summary: If asked if he’s up for this mission, the answer very clearly is no. (Nino is a programmer in Stormfleet, and one day, despite his refusal, Jun sends him out on a mission to meet with the Rumban prince)





	Universe and you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DaisukiDesu3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisukiDesu3/gifts).



> My very first commissioned fic! If you also feel like requesting (and helping me out in the process), you can do so! Please head on this post for the details! ( https://ohmiya-haven.livejournal.com/161457.html )

If asked if he’s up for this mission, the answer very clearly is no.  
  
He’s most certain he’s not fit for field work - if the result of his physical examination isn’t evidence enough, his unwillingness to do anything that would require him to use his strength  
could very well attest to this - but apparently, his lack of any combat skill shouldn’t be a problem.  
  
After all, as Captain Matsumoto boasted when Nino was called into the his superior’s office to be told the ‘good news’, this mission doesn’t require him to do more than look pretty and be witty.  
  
“I don’t understand, isn’t this Sho-kun’s job?” he asks.  
  
“It is, but he’s in the middle of wrapping up the talks with the Perilians, and he said it’ll take him at least another week to get back. This mission’s urgent, Ninomiya. We already received the transmission from Planet Rumba that their Prince is currently on route. He’s expected to be at our supposed meeting point in 36 hours.”  
  
“And you think I’m the right person to send in to meet this Prince? Are you out of your fucking mind?” he counters, unable to keep his mouth shut. He knows Matsumoto could very well throw him out of his office (or out the airlock), but that thought has never stopped him from voicing out his mind before, and Matsumoto could bet he’s not going to start now.  
  
Unsurprisingly, Matsumoto doesn’t even bat an eyelid despite his rude retort.  
  
“Considering your knowledge with the Rumban dialect, yes.”  
  
“You know I’m a programmer, right?” he says, to point out the obvious. “And you’re well-versed at it too, if I remember correctly.” he reminds Matsumoto.  
  
“Not as well-versed as your are with the language,” Matsumoto returns, indulgingly. Nino feels like he’s missing something, judging with how Matsumoto is very obviously trying to convince him to say yes.  
  
“Come on, Nino, just this once. I promise I won’t ask you again.” says Matsumoto, charmingly, and whatever suspicion Nino has before all these started, he swears it’s full blown fear now.  
  
“Am I - Are you sending me to this mission as bait?” he asks, eyes wide.  
  
Matsumoto has the gall to act all innocent, but Nino knows him well enough to fear for his life this early. After all, his superior doesn’t only like challenges, he’s freaking fond of the theatrics too.  
  
“No, don’t be silly,” Matsumoto says, grinning from ear to ear. “I’m sending you out on a date.”  
  
  
{}  
  
“He’s probably just joking,” Aiba tells him, like that’s even possible. Matsumoto Jun probably doesn’t even know the meaning of the word, and Nino will cut his own arm if Matsumoto admits that is the case.  
  
Which isn’t, Nino is certain of it. “Well, he’s doing a piss-poor job at making it look like he is,” he counters, downing the rest of the drink Aiba’s offered him earlier. It doesn’t taste at all like sweet tea, like his best friend had said, but something that is obviously stronger, but he’s annoyed enough not to mind.  
  
“I mean, seriously, does this sound like a joke to you? Sending an interpreter out on a mission and referring to it as a date? Clearly, that bastard wants me out of his hair and is thinking what better way to do it than to send me out on a suicide mission disguised as a fucking date in space? It’s goddamn hilarious.”  
  
“Did you say yes?” Aiba segues, frowning. Nino briefly considers lashing out in response to Aiba’s very unconcerned question when he realizes Aiba actually has a point.  
  
He bites his tongue and sighs heavily instead. “Did you think I had a choice?”  
  
“Yes,” Aiba tells him, grabbing their empty glasses and starts refilling them. “You do know you could have said no, right?”  
  
“And risk my ass getting kicked out the airlock, thanks but no thanks.”  
  
Aiba chuckles. “Matsujun won’t do that,” he says, “He won’t ever think of punishing you that way. You’re too valuable, you know? He knows that too, of course.” Aiba says, pushing his once again filled to the brim glass, as he brings his own to his lips to take a sip.  
  
Nino snorts and reaches over to do the same. “Are you trying to make me feel better by getting me drunk?”  
  
“Is it working?”  
  
He smirks and in one swift movement, downs the contents of the glass Aiba’s offered, before slamming it on the counter two seconds later.  
  
“Not at all, but thanks for trying,” he says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His face feels hot and he has a feeling he’s going to feel the effects of it come morning.  
  
Right now, though, he doesn’t care. “Can I have more?” he asks, pushing his empty glass towards Aiba once more.  
  
Aiba grins. “By all means,” Aiba says. “Wait here. I have something stronger I’m keeping in the fridge.”  
  
He nods, knows he’ll regret everything the next morning. “Bring it.”  
  
Aiba’s smile is nothing but patronizing. “I’ll be right back.”  
  
  
{}  
  
He’s not really looking forward to this day, this moment, dreading it even but as it was, he has no choice but do his job. Somehow, he finds it easier to convince himself he’s doing his fellow man a favor by agreeing to do this instead of sending someone else.  
  
After all, as Matsumoto had said it, it would be up to him to convince the Rumbans that this meeting will benefit both sides, since they’ve received the news that the Rumbans are currently considering interspecies breeding. Nino’s not certain how humans are going to benefit in this, but he guesses that’s not his problem to worry.  
  
It’s not at all a secret that the Rumban race is by far one of the most advanced races in this side of the galaxy. Nino’s learned most of their history in University, but he’s able to master their language only when he’s asked to join Stormfleet. They’re quite possibly one of the weirdest bunch living in this side of the universe, and Nino’s seen enough weird to know that the Rumbans are definitely up the weird scale and that he needs to be extra careful talking to them.  
  
As agreed, Nino is to be transported to the designated meeting place, somewhere north of Damian, near the Sirius Belt, where he’d be dropped off to be picked up by the Rumban delegates. At that point forward, he’d be alone, and god knows if the phaser he’d tucked under his suit would be enough to defend himself.  
  
Probably not, but at least he won’t go down without a fight.  
  
“Please don’t talk about dying just yet,” Aiba tells him as they descend. Nino’s not exactly confident about the whole thing, and it’s made worse by the fact that Matsumoto Jerkface Jun thought it is a gesture of trust and goodwill to give in to the Rumban’s very obviously selfish (and suspicious) request.  
  
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Aiba says, always the epitome of genuine trust. “Matsujun made sure it’s safe, and anyway, I’ll be picking you up after four hours. Please try not to piss the Rumban prince off, in the meantime.”  
  
He tsks and stands, smoothing imaginary creases on his suit. He’s nervous, and it doesn’t help that he keeps on forgetting the Rumban word for ‘fuck off’.  
  
“Thanks for the reminder, Aiba.”  
  
“Don’t scowl! Smile, smile, okay? You don’t want to scare the guards right off the bat, you hear me?” Aiba says to his back, as he starts to the door.  
  
“Yeah!”  
  
“And don’t show them your gun!”  
  
“Got it!”  
  
“Break lots of legs!” Aiba cheers, “But not literally! Oh my god, forget I said that, just - be careful!”  
  
“I heard you! Bye!”  
  
“See you in four hours!”  
  
“Right!”  
  
Nino goes.  
  
  
{}  
  
The first order of business after he’s boarded the Rumban ship is to greet the Rumban prince, using their language, of course. Nino’s perfected that part at least, even though he’s still having troubles remembering the exact Rumban word for fuck off. He knows it may come in handy, especially when any of the Rumban delegates started getting touchy-feely.  
  
He steps out of the transporter with a heavy heart, worried still that he’s going to fuck up this mission and get himself killed.  
  
 _“Are you the one?_ ” someone asks from somewhere, and Nino squints hard to find that the voice is coming from the ship parked above a small hill, frowning. There’s something odd at that language, but Nino can’t exactly pinpoint what it is.  
  
He blinks through his helmet and looks around, finding nothing but black. This part of Sirius Belt looks similar to Earth’s Middle East desert, only the sand’s color is pitch black.  
  
 _“I’m asking you, are you the one? The human?_ ” says the voice, and only then that Nino realize what it is.  
  
The language being used to converse with him isn’t Rumban, but something else.  
  
If he’s not mistaken, it sounded entirely like Fijan.  
  
Holy fucking hell.  
  
He backs back a step a second too late, finds himself trapped inside a beam of light as his body starts to feel like he’s being torn in half.  
  
Screaming is the last he remembers before he’s out.  
  
  
{}  
  
  
The next time he opens his eyes, it’s to the sight of a round-faced alien poking him on the cheek.  
  
He struggles to sit up, groans when he does because it fucking hurts everywhere. His head feels fuzzy and for a moment, he wonders why he feels like he’s lost half of his body weight, until he realizes it’s because he can’t feel his lower extremities, particularly his legs.  
  
When he looks down to check if they’re still there, he sighs in relief.  
  
“Are you alive?” asks the Fijan to his left, fingers poised to poke Nino on the face again. He harrumphs and bats the alien’s hand away.  
  
“Barely,” he growls, answering the Fijan in his own language. More than ever, he’s glad that Sakurai Sho had forced him to take up these language lessons as an elective, despite the fact that he doesn’t really need to. He’s a programmer by profession, after all. “What did you do to me?”  
  
The Fijan blinks, like he’s confused, hearing his language on a foreign species. “Nothing yet.” he says.  
  
That doesn’t sound all too good, but Nino figures he can work his way out of this.  
  
“Did you know you could be facing several counts of criminal charges for abducting me? I’m supposed to meet with the Rumban prince when you beamed me to your ship!”  
  
The Fijan looks unfazed. Nino watches him as he takes a sit next to Nino, gives Nino an apologetic smile (he interprets it as he sees it), and throws his hand out, palm splayed. In an instant, a hologram appears, and Nino squints at it, frowning.  
  
The image the Fijan is showing him is of a group of presumably five Rumbans talking, dated a day before Nino’s arrival in Sirius Belt.  
  
“What the -” he starts, straining to hear the conversation, his stomach lurching in his throat.  
  
“It’s a trap,” the Fijan says, pushing his hand closer for Nino to inspect. “The Rumbans has no intention of letting you go. They’ve managed to deceive several races, including mine, by playing the interspecies breeding card. But none of it is true. They will simply tap into your brain and learn how they could invade your planet by studying you. Just like they did to mine.”  
  
He inhales sharply and whips around to give the alien a look. “And I should trust you? What if you’re one of them? I don’t even know how you got this video, and besides, you’re no better either. You abducted me, you remember?”  
  
“I saved you, there’s a difference.”  
  
“So you’re saying you’re planning on returning me to my people, eventually?”  
  
“Eventually, yes.”  
  
“That’s not really convincing.”  
  
“I promise I will take you back, but in one condition.”  
  
He frowns. Did he really think this was any different? Obviously, it isn’t. This Fijan clearly has an agenda of his own.  
  
He sighs. “As if I have a choice. Fine, let’s hear it.”  
  
The alien smiles, reaches over to press something on Nino’s bedside at the same time Nino jerks from the bed in combined shock and something else. He can’t help the moan that tears itself from the back of his throat, unable to follow the Fijan’s movements as the alien shoves Nino’s scratchy robe aside, when he feels trapped on the bed and in his own body.  
  
“W-What - What are you -”  
  
“I did mention about the Rumbans deceiving us, right?” says the alien, breath hot against Nino’s ear. “Unfortunately, I’m the last remaining Fijan.” the alien says, positioning himself over Nino and shoving Nino’s legs apart. Nino shudders on cue.  
  
“And you’re going to help me remedy that.”  
  
Nino’s eyes widen. “No, you’re mistaken - ohhhh god!”  
  
  
{}  
  
“You’ve been what?!” Aiba screeches on the comlink, making Nino wince.  
  
“Abducted, yes, you heard that right.”  
  
“But - but - by who?!”  
  
He shrugs, feeling sore in all the places that count. “Not by the Rumbans, obviously.”  
  
“I guessed as much!” Aiba half-screams. “Matsujun is pissed. I think he’s about to start a war with the Rumbans, I should probably warn him, oh crap. But, wait, so where are you?”  
  
“With my abductor, where else?” he answers. “He’s Fijan.”  
  
“A what?”  
  
“Fijan. He said his name’s Sammy. It’s probably made up, but who cares. You probably haven’t heard of his race. But I do. I did. I thought that race has been wiped out, but it turned out he’s the only one left.”  
  
Aiba frowns at him from the other end of the commlink. “Tell me where you are exactly and I’ll come pick you up. Quick.”  
  
“I can’t.”  
  
Aiba’s eyes are as wide as saucers. “What do you mean you can’t? Is that alien threatening you? Tell him he can’t do that! We could -”  
  
“Actually, I don’t want to.” he says, “So maybe, I don’t know, let Matsumoto and Sho-san know I’m okay? I just called to let you know I was okay. I’ll be staying here so -”  
  
“What?! Nino, are you crazy? You’re staying? But - But why?!”  
  
He casts his eyes downward, feels his cheeks heating up at the memory of himself earlier, as the Fijan did his best to copulate with him. He’s yet to tell the alien he won’t be able to reproduce, but maybe he will, soon.  
  
For now, he’d just had the best sex of his entire life, and he’s not that stupid to give it up right away. At least not until he’s satisfied.  
  
“Well, why not? To be honest, being here is so much better than working in that ship, with Captain Jerkface, no offense meant. Also, dude, let me tell you, the anal probes here are out of this world!”  
  
“Ninomiya Kazunari, you moron!”

**Author's Note:**

> I am also in Ko-fi.com ( https://ko-fi.com/jadelil3104 ) pls check it out. Your support will be greatly appreciated. Thank you <3


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